“Wig”ging Out

Today I go in for my first chemo treatment. I can’t even begin to explain how surreal this all feels. It’s overwhelming and scary and big and ugly, but God has given me so much peace this morning. I slept well last night, and he brought to mind songs and verses this morning as soon as I woke up. I know this is because so many of you have been praying, and I can’t tell you how much that encourages me. God is answering those prayers!

One of the overwhelming parts is how much information is given and how many little details in life will change… from the way I brush my teeth, to the way I eat, to my exercise level, to skin care, etc. Somewhere in the midst of all of this, I know I’m going to lose my hair, but I don’t even know if that’s really hit yet. Maybe it’s because of my kids…

We told Asher and Micah about my chemo this week. That was one of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had to have, at least initially. Telling the boys Mommy was going to feel really bad for a while, but that the medicine would make me feel better later made no sense to them. Picture Micah, my 3 year old, snuggling on Brian’s lap, eyes huge with crocodile tears. He just looked shell-shocked. Then he said, “Mommy, I wish you never got sick.” And it broke my heart… it still does when I think about it.

But the tears didn’t last very long… there is so much truth to laughter being the best medicine. When we prepped the boys that Mommy would lose her hair, Asher looked up at me from underneath my arm with those big brown eyes. I told him that meant Mommy would be bald in a few weeks. His eyes got even bigger and he said, “Mom, you’re going to look like a man!” Brian and I cracked up. I guess there’s the child’s perspective for you. Then he and Micah had a big discussion about how Mommy was going to look like Mr. Burress.

What you have to understand is that Burress, our new director of worship at church, is the most amazing person in the world in my children’s eyes. Burress and his wife, Kristin, have reached out to our kids on their level and have loved them. What a blessing that is in our life… there are no words to describe what it is like as a mom to see other people love your children so well.

However, Tuesday night, my boys’ idolatry of Burress was at its peak. When I went to check on the kids to make sure they were still tucked in, I found them lying awake in their room. Micah said to me, “Mommy, I wish I were you.” I asked him why, and he said, “So I could become Mr. Burress.” I didn’t know what to say to that one… then he said, “Will it hurt?” I asked, “Will what hurt?” He replied, “Will it hurt when you change into Mr. Burress?” I had to laugh. Oh my sweet, sweet Bear. To him if you look like someone, you are someone… so I suppose he thinks I’m going to become Burress. Brian’s not too fond of that idea.

I went for my wig “consultation” yesterday and Kristin went with me. She and Burress have ministered to Brian and me with their time, music, selflessness, integrity and genuineness, and we have been so blessed. Trying on wig after wig got overwhelming, but Kristin made it fun… so did the blonde wig with black roots–not exactly my style, but good for a huge laugh. Asher wanted me to come home with a Ronald McDonald wig. That’s not exactly my style either. But oh well. It’s good for a laugh, too. And laughter is healing. So are friendships… and Burress and Kristin have helped heal my heart a lot. As have so many of you. There’s nothing else to say except, “Thanks.”

He will never break His promise;
He has written it upon the sky.
My Deliverer is coming;
My Deliverer is drawing nigh.
(Rich Mullins)

11 responses to ““Wig”ging Out”

  1. Angie, I praise God that you slept well last night and have such peace this morning. May the presence of God and reminders of his loving, gracious, all powerful, nail scarred hands be more real to you today than the things you can see. We are praying for you as you enter this unknown, scary journey. He sees the whole path before you. I pray your heart continues to have his peace that passes all understanding. We love you and wish we could be there with you! We are all praying for you! J, S, K and H

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  2. I am so glad that you are so well taken care of. Now, if you become Burress, then who will Burress become…????

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  3. It’s sweet to see the blessing in His timing of bringing the McCombes to the valley…I am so glad that your families have found fellowship with one another. Thinking of you today!

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  4. I’m thinking of and praying for you today, as you start treatment, and that God overflows your cup with peace and His strength, and surrounds you with love.

    Praise God for his faithfulness in providing you with such wonderful friends in the McCombe’s.

    On a lighter note: I’m thinking you’ll be a much better looking version of Burress.

    We love you, Angie!!
    Brooke (Alvin, Dylan & Jade)

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  5. Sherry Misantone Avatar
    Sherry Misantone

    You’ve been in my prayers throughout the day, Ang. It’s a real blessing to see God’s people ministering to you throughout all this. And to see God strengthening your faith & making you more like Him.

    Love ya!
    Sherry

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  6. B. A. Schlegel (Kristin Mullenix's aunt) Avatar
    B. A. Schlegel (Kristin Mullenix’s aunt)

    Angie, I prayed for you last night and today. I know the fear, but I know the love of family and God, too. My 8 yr. old son Skipper and husband Sam picked out a gray and silver wig for me, even though I had brown hair! They said it made my eyes beautiful. It was fun wearing it, even if I frizzled it looking in the oven one night. I will pray that your treatment doesn’t make you nauseous. I lived off of ginger ale and pretzels for a good while, among other things. Peppermints helped, too. You’ll get used to the things you have to do. Be wise but not paranoid. Drink lots of water, even if you don’t want to. You will be in my prayers continuously for your body to heal. Love, Aunt B.A.

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  7. Angie – I read this half way around the world and laugh and cry with you. I can’t wait to see the new Mr. Burress. Children are great reminders of what’s really important. Tell Brian I have not forgotten about the growler and I will make good on my promise when I return. Take care my friend.

    -McCall

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  8. Sounds like Asher and Micah are your Merry and Pippin.

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  9. Angie, my prayers are with you and your family. A close friend went through chemo and radiation last year for breast cancer. She felt the wigs would give her a headache after wearing for a few hours so she chose to wear scarves and hats. I have seen some women who were bald and stunningly beautiful. Wear a little makeup and hold your head high. Your beauty will shine through. And your children will keep coming up with things to make you smile! Take care.

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  10. Linda Sundquist Avatar
    Linda Sundquist

    Things to remember:

    1. God loves you
    2. We love you, too
    3. Keep laughing
    4. Your hair will grow back
    5. You will eventually feel better

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  11. Angie, as I continue to read your journal entries I am overwhelmed with your honesty in your feelings, your constant and abiding assurance in God and His plan for your life as difficult and challenging as that is right now. I was speaking at a women’s retreat this past weekend and shared a little of your story as it related to one of the points I was making about our settled assurance in God. I like to think of it more as vibrant assurance or as someone else said, radiant certainty. It’s that settled, vibrant assurance whereby we choose to love and trust God no matter what is happening in our lives. You exhibit that radiant certainty, Angie, that settled assurance in your life and I am blessed by that. I continue to pray for you as you go through chemo. What a blessing that cancer has been found nowhere else in your body. What a testimony you are to many people. I also see that sacrificial praise given to Him inspite of what you’re going through. I believe God treasures that praise more than anything else because it is given when life is at its most difficult and challenging. I continue to pray for you and your family. I’m glad you had the week at Nags Head. What a blessing that God gives us through vacations and taking a break from the reality of life for a while. So much to be thankful for and to continue to praise Him. Blessings, Angie

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