Waiting For Footsteps

Every evening there is a ritual in our home. Hearing the healthy purr of Brian’s Jeep, Audrey will drop whatever she’s doing, race to the sliding glass door, scream at the top of her lungs and beat on the glass. She calls to me, points out the window and claps her hands. Daddy is home! Audrey will watch Brian every step of his way to our door. She waits until he leaves his truck, then runs to the window by the steps to watch him walk up… screaming all the time. When Daddy is no longer in sight, Audrey will run to the door and wait for the knob to turn. As soon as it does, the screaming commences again, and Audrey is swept up in a huge bear hug when Brian enters.

The screams have alerted the other troops in our home, and Asher and Micah will run from wherever they have been playing, yelling, “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” They each get their turn with hugs and, “Hey guys”. I watch it all with wonder and amazement while I wait my turn to feel those arms around me. And my heart smiles.

Bri starts his new job tomorrow. We are in a place that is exciting and wonderful and it is so obvious that God has called him there. I am thrilled for him, and I can’t wait to see how God will use him. But I am scared, too. Bri will be in DC for the first part of every week for a while, and this will be the first time we’ve been apart since my diagnosis. Brian is the rock that God has given me to cling to during some very dark times, and I long to have that rock remain with me. All the “what if’s…” start to pour into my mind. What if I have a really rough spell? What if infection sets in and I have to be hospitalized? What if I can’t sleep? Who will hold me when I need to cry? Who will pray with me? Whose shoulder will I lean on for strength?

I know the answers to those questions.. I know that Jesus is my ultimate Rock and He will provide for me. He already has. My parents will be here to help care for us. My friends will surround me. My children will love me. And I know that I will hear Brian’s voice every day on the phone. Even though I know all these things, my heart still hurts thinking about Bri’s absence. I realize even more just how much I love him and want him by my side.

Ronald Reagan once said, “There is nothing more wonderful for a man than to know as he approaches his own doorstep that someone on the other side of that door is listening for the sound of his footsteps.” And Thursday night, I know four someones who will be listening.

3 responses to “Waiting For Footsteps”

  1. Angie,
    What a sweet picture of your evenings awaiting Brian’s arrival. I know they must be cherished moments. I love you and am praying for you and for your dear family.

    I am praying the following from The Valley Of Vision p. 214

    God of all sovereignty,
    Thy greatness is unsearchable,
    Thy name most excellent,
    Thy glory above the heavens;
    Ten thousand minister to thee,
    Ten thousand times ten thousand stand before thee;
    In thy awful presence we are less than nothing.
    We do not approach thee because we deserve thy notice,
    for we are sinners.
    Our necessities compel us,
    Thy promises encourage us,
    Our broken hearts incite us,
    Thy mediator draws us,
    Thy acceptance of others moves us.
    Look thou upon us and be merciful unto us.
    Convince us of the penalty and pollution of sin;
    Give us faith to believe, and, believing, to have life in Jesus;
    May we enter into his sufferings;
    Let us see thy hand in the instruments of our grief, rejoicing that they are from thy over-ruling providence.
    Let not our weeping hinder sowing; nor sorrow, duty.
    While living in a world of change let us seek the abiding city.
    Be with us to our journey’s end that we may glorify thee in death as in life.
    We bless thee for preservation, supplies, mercies, and to thee, keeper of sous, we commit all we are and have.
    May no evil befall us, no sickness come nigh us, no horror disturb us!
    May our conscience be clear, our hearts pure, our sleep sweet!
    And with the innumerable company who neither slumber nor rest we join in ascribing blessing, honour, glory and power to the Lamb upon the throne, for ever and ever.

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  2. Ang,

    My God’s Hands continually be upon you as He cares for you and your family! I”m reminded of this old hymn that I’d thought I’d share with you by Civilla Martin:

    Be not dismayed what e’er betied;
    God will take care of you
    Beneath His Wings of love betide;
    God will take care of you

    (chorus)
    God will Take care of you
    Through every Day;
    O’er all the way
    He will Take care of you
    God will Take care of you

    Through days of toil when heart doth fail
    God will take care of you
    When dangers fierce path assail
    God will take care of you

    (chorus)

    All you may need He will provide
    God will take care of you
    Trust Him and you will be satfisfied
    God will take care of you

    (chorus)

    No matter what may be the test
    God will take care of you
    Lean, weary on, upon His breast
    God will take care of you

    (chorus)

    I”m continually praying for you all! Love you much, dear sweet sister in Christ!!

    Love,
    Becky

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  3. My dearest Angie.

    The greatest comfort that you can experience is that, He will never leave you or forsake you. In your frail moments, He is right there to led you through. Brian will also miss you and those precious babies. Thank God for such a supporting husband, a man after God’s heart and even through this He is giving Him the grace to watch over his family with peace. This is a beautiful testimony of the grace that is abounding to you and your family.

    My prayers for you and Brian is that He will give you the knowledge of His will with all spiritual wisdom and understanding that Christ will dwell in you hearts through faith.

    Love to you and Brian and those precious children that sheds the light of His love in your home.

    His adopted child to another, we are not left as orphans He is in control.

    Judie

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