Every afternoon during our rest time ritual, I rock Audrey, read her a book or two, then sit by her crib for a few minutes while she lays quietly inside it. Today, she took her bear, sat up, grabbed a book, looked at me and said, “Read, Bear.” I watched while she held him gently on her lap facing outward. She positioned him just right, opened the book, and started pointing at the pictures, “Abbby, abby, ya,” she would read. Turn a page, “Abby, abby, ya.” Over and over. Sometimes she would stop, point at a picture and tell her bear what it was. Once she turned a page, then quickly turned it back and pointed squealing at the top of her lungs, “PINK!” Every now and then she would stop, pat her bear, kiss the top of his head and then continue reading. Getting to the last page, she said, “Dee end” and then turned her bear to face her hugging him tightly. Another gentle pat, a kiss, then she put him beside her in the bed and whispered, “Nigh-nigh. Wuv u bear-a.”
I realized I was watching myself in my daughter this afternoon. Everything she did was mimicking my actions with her each day. (And some days, I’m so tired, my words probably really do sound like “abby, abby, ya” to her.) I read to her, kiss her, pat her, love her. It was sweet to see her tenderness. I rocked beside her for a while, ruminating. How do I reflect the One who cares for me? What do others see when they watch me? Is it a reflection of Christ?
More than often, I admit, it is not. My life is mired in my lack of self-control, my worries about what others think of me, my concern for outward appearance rather than what is in the heart, my inability to let go of past failures either by me or toward me.
How am I reflecting Him in the daily choices I make? In the music I listen to? The movies or television I watch? In the way I speak to (and about) my family and friends? Is my life a mirror of the One I love? Or do I live no differently than the world around me?
John Piper says you become what you behold. I long to behold Christ in every moment, in every breath. I know I won’t. I live in a fallen world, and as I grow closer to Christ, I see how little I truly reflect Him. Yet the longing in my soul is nearly suffocating tonight as I put Scripture into practice and examine my heart and life. As Audrey reflected those sweet, tender moments we share daily, I desire to mirror Him.
Just some thoughts… I’d love to hear yours.