For that one of you who might perhaps be disillusioned into thinking life always goes smoothly in our home, let me paint a mental picture for you.
My two youngest were outside alone for a total of two minutes. Two minutes. I headed outside to check on them, and what to my wandering eyes should appear? But the bare backside of my son who was relieving himself in the woods next to our home. His sister was amazed. She was especially enraptured with how high he could make the arc of liquid stream. Then he decided it would be fun to twist and turn and water the leaves all around him. Unfortunately, his sister was in the line of fire, and her amazement turned to terror when she was doused head to toe in said liquid stream. She turned, saw my arrival and commenced screaming at the top of her lungs, “Mommmeeeee! I am yuckeeeeee! Yuckeeeee on meeeeee!”
Bear’s eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw me standing there. He promptly finished his business, stuffed himself back together, then turned with an impish grin and said, “MOM! Did you see how high I peed?”
I am shaking my head in resignation as I type. I had just convinced myself that having two at home once their brother started school next week would be a bit easier.
I am doomed, I tell you, doomed.