First Day

Last night our little family curled together in the middle of the hallway floor. Yes, the hallway floor. (I love impromptu moments like that!) Ash leaned his long form against Brian’s shoulder while Audrey snuggled in her Daddy’s arms. Micah folded up next to me with his head in my lap, and we prayed together for Asher’s first day of school. Later, after all three were tucked under their comforters, Ash emerged.

“Daddy? Can you sing a song to me?”

Brian picked him up and swayed in the middle of our living room with him. Whispered notes we sang together, “When I am afraid I will trust in You, I will trust in You, I will trust in You…” I watched the two of them. Asher’s long arms wrapped around Brian’s neck. Brian’s closed eyes, holding a piece of forever in his arms. Tears rushed to my eyes at the sweetness, the specialness of this moment. Where did the time go?

This morning we opened our quiver and let our little arrow fly.

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I read these words this morning on my window calendar:

“Fear is something that comes upon us the moment we don’t believe that God is able to keep us, or all we care about, safe.”

The drive to school was quiet. Looking sharp in his school uniform, Ash was thinking, pondering the coming hours.

“Mom? Can you play my songs? So I can sing the Bible and it will calm me down?”

Turning immediately to truth when he is afraid, he knew who to go to in his fear. He knew God would keep him safe. Oh how much I have to learn from this small one!

Arriving at school, he immediately saw Kelly, one of his classmates, and jumped out of the car. We walked up together with Kelly’s mom, Lindy, and her brood. Every few seconds Asher would stop and tell me to slow down and wait for Kelly. And I was again amazed by my thoughtful, little guy.

Holding my hand as we climbed the steps, he turned and looked up at me and signed, “I love you” with a smile. I squeezed his hand and fought the rush of tears, the hot flush to my face. He waved to the parents and teachers he recognized, and I marveled again and again at how grown up he seemed. How READY he seemed for this new step.

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Once in his classroom, he greeted others, asked his teacher a couple questions, then settled into his desk to play with the play-doh she had set up. I hugged him good-bye, thanked his teacher, and headed to the door. Turning, I called out, “Bye, Buddy.

Looking up, head cocked, faint grin, he reached out and signed, “I love you” again. Signing back, I walked away, then stood on the sidewalk to cry with Lindy.

I am so thankful for teachers who will love my child well, who will train his mind in the foundations which we hold so dear, who will walk alongside us to give him a wonderful education and teach him so much more than I ever could!

This past year has held so much for us all. The future holds so much more.

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Then I arrived home to my two other arrows. It was a morning full of building tents, train rides on rocking chairs, marker creations and reading times. Of pitching in to make a special supper for his first day of school.

“What do you want, son? Spaghetti? Pizza?”

Silence for a moment. “No, Mom. I think I’d like that turkey apple quiche you make and fruit salad, you know, with strawberries and kiwi in it, and french toast, so I can use real maple syrup.” (Whose kid does that?!)

Soon my boy man buddy will come home full of stories and exuberance, and I’ll be waiting.

14 responses to “First Day”

  1. Awww…thank you for this post. I needed to read that quote about fear. Today was my son’s first day to ride his bike to Godwin Hall and catch the BRCC shuttle down to Weyers Cave for his physics class and stay the day for the lab at 2:00, returning home on the 5:00 shuttle. (He is taking this science class as a high schooler to be challenged.) Last week I drove him to get him acquainted with it all. I had similar thoughts as you expressed in your post on a different scale. (My “little” boy was going out into the big world all alone!!!!) Had to remind myself that this is the goal…growing them up. Trusting God to care for my son better than I ever could.

    And what happened? Caleb ran into several CPC friends along the way…rode on the shuttle with one, met some for lunch, hung out with others. God sent His people to love my son through the day and encourage him with friendship. Totally “random” and “unplanned” by me and better than any plan I could concoct (um…I think my days of setting up his scheduled events are ending). It’s not all about me 😉

    Thanks for sharing your heart and for listening to mine!!!!

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  2. Love it. What a great first day!

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  3. i’m so thankful my little girl has your sweet boy by her side this school year! and i’m excited to get to know you better:)

    hope his first day went great!

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  4. We are so thankful that Asher’s day went so well! What answered prayer! The Lord brought him to mind this morning at 7:30 our time, and all I could think is that Ashy is embarking on his first day of school. Bless his dear little, I mean, BIG heart!

    Love ya’ll dearly!

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  5. Angie, I was right there with you. My own kids are way past their first days of school…..but oh how it seems like yesterday. My first grandchild started lst grade last week. I’m still teary….excited for her….but the emotions are just under the surface!
    Regularly visit your site. God has given you a gift to touch our tender spots. Keep on writing. You are being used in ways that you’ll probably not know this side of eternity.
    Love, Sherry

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  6. I was praying for both you and him throughout the day, Angie! I’m so glad it was a good first day, and I look forward to hearing how God continues to bless this school year for Asher. I love you all so much!

    ~ Miss Sarah 🙂

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  7. Absolutely beautiful! I’d forgotten, but my mom always called my sisters and me her “arrows”. The pictures and the words were perfect and spoke to my heart.

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  8. Sharing your tears as I took Avery to 1st grade this morning as well! It is so hard to let go even a little, even though you are so proud of the person God is making them into.

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  9. Wow, even though that time seems so far away from us, I know that I will wake up tomorrow and it will be here. Thanks for making me cry… 🙂 And thanks for making me appreciate each day with my little one(s) while they’re still little!

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  10. What a sweet boy you have. I love his choice for dinner!

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  11. Thank you for sharing him with me! I am excited to have him as a student in my art class – he’s truly a wonderful kid and I love seeing his big blue eye

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  12. whoops. Lillian decided that I was ready to post….so let me try to finish quickly here…she believes in brevity… 🙂

    ….his big blue eyes of wonder and I enjoy his spirit – excited to learn and ready to try to see what he can do… He is a sweet, sweet boy – so, really, thanks for sharing him!

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  13. This is so sweet. I almost cried just reading it. Your writing is really touching. Keep up the good work 🙂

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  14. It is the middle of November and I just read this post. I remember that day so well. It has been so great to have him in my class. He really does have an exuberance that I cannot believe. The other day he was having so much fun playing and working with his classmates that I too felt that I have a lot to learn from him.

    Thanks so much for this website.

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