Beginning With A Bang… Or Not

Yesterday I began the barrage of tests, scans, ultrasounds, injections, questions and waiting. And I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry, so I just did both.

After a lengthy drive filled with me singing at the top of my lungs to songs on my iPod, I arrived at the hospital (not the one I normally go to) for my appointment. I was having an ultrasound of my neck in order for them to see if they could locate any remaining thyroid tissue from my thyroidectomy 10 years ago. They took me back quickly into the dungeon radiology, and it all went downhill from there.

The technician was a nice older woman with a smoker’s cough and a coarse exterior, but she was very personable. Maybe too personable, when after getting me comfortable on my gurney and prepping my neck, she started to dance. You know, crossing her legs, jittery movements. Finally she put the ultrasound wand down and said, “I gotta pee.”

(At the risk of sounding non-PC, just think about all of this done with a very hick, not southern, accent. If you don’t know the difference, I’m not sure what to tell you.)

I smiled, unable to move my head because of the goop all over my neck.

But she kept going, “If I don’t go pee now, I’m gonna spend the whole time dancing and not get what I need.”

Uh, okay. You go do your thing, lady. So she did. In the very next room where I could hear everything. And trust me, I listened real hard to be sure she washed her hands!

“MUCH better.” she chortled as she emerged from the bathroom. She started scanning my neck and taking pictures when there was a knock on the door and another person entered.

“Oh, Hiiiiiii.” my friendly technician said. “I’m almost done.” Then she turned back to me and said, “This is our student. She missed everything I’ve done, so I’m just gonna start all over.”

Right. You just go right ahead and redo everything while I lay in this uncomfortable position and have you press down so hard on my neck and throat that I see stars again. Not a problem at all.

Oh, and it got better. Throughout the whole re-scanning procedure, she explained everything she was doing to the student. Only explaining everything sounded something like this.

“Okay, this here looks like it could be a lymph node, but it might be a parathyroid gland, or something else. Well, really I’m not sure what that is, so I’m just gonna zoom in and take a picture of it.”

Repeat about ten times.

By that point, I was almost in tears wanting to shout, “Helloooooooo!! Cancer patient here. Anything you say ‘I don’t know what that is’ about screams ‘TUMOR’ to me.” I am convinced that doctors, nurses, technicians, etc. really need to learn to speak a whole different language to cancer patients because every single question raised means facing the fear of recurrence.

Finally, the technician turned to me, smiled and said, “Honey, don’t mind us. I do a lot of talking and mostly it means nothing. Well, some of it means nothing. Nevermind. I don’t know what I’m saying half the time.”

Thanks. Now I’m really reassured that I’m in competent hands.

Well, all I can say now is that there is one down and the waiting begins. It will be mid-week before I find anything out about the results. Am praying that I will hear His voice and know His presence as I wait.

Oh, and can I just add it’s really hard to drive on the interstate while “Shackles” by Mary, Mary is on repeat on my iPod?

How do you dance and drive at the same time?

In the corners of mind
I just can’t seem to find a reason to believe
That I can break free
Cause you see I have been down for so long
Feel like the hope is gone
But as I lift my hands, I understand
That I should praise you through my circumstance

Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I’m gonna praise you
I’m gonna praise you

Praising Him in my circumstances today!

10 responses to “Beginning With A Bang… Or Not”

  1. His faithfulness is everlasting, and His kindness extends far beyond our understanding. I’m so glad that the first test is done, and am praying for you as you wait for the results. “I will sing to the Lord, for He has dealt bountifully with me.” You are loved so dearly by Him. Rest in His love.

    P.S. I love you lots too, my dearest Angie!


  2. Dear Angie,
    I follow your blog b/c I care about what is happening in your life and I pray for you and sometimes cry just realizing what you are going through and am so amazed and blessed that you remain faithful in trusting God through it all. After reading this entry about the technician I think I would have come undone! God’s richest blessings to you, my dear!
    Praying for you,
    Ruth Weaver


  3. Dearest Angie,

    Your experience is very common with the Doctors and diagnostic labs. I had this numerous times with my husband. The medical field has become so busy that they just don’t know what to say or do.

    Thank God we have the great physician. He will give them wisdom to meet whatever we need.

    May you see that His mercies are new every morning and every evening. Great is His faithfulness.

    I am walking with you in this and thank God for pouring His love abroad in our hearts through Jesus Christ.

    May His grace, mercy and peace abound to you in fullest measure.

    In Him we are one,


  4. Chicka’,

    There is nothing a little Mary Mary and Shackles can’t cure for me! Your story made me laugh and cry a little too thinking of the nearly hundred scans I had on my blocked kidney last year and all the crazy comments and clueless techs who pushed and prodded and made me scream. Wish I could have been there to be your advocate and hold your hand. I am praying for you all the time. HUGS!!!

    Monica K.


  5. I’m praying for you, Angie.


  6. thinking of you today, angie….praying that He will give you the ability to be patient…knowing that in and of yourself you don’t have what it takes….keep clinging to Him!!!


  7. Thanks for stopping by my blog! I just read your post and I’m stopping and praying for you right now!


  8. Hey Angie – We’re praying that God is going to give you an “all clear” test result this week! We love you – please keep us posted so we can celebrate with you when we know for sure that all is well!


  9. Working for several years in medical offices I am convinced there are some people who just really should not be allowed to care for patients on a personal leve,l even if they have the “intelligence” and I use the term loosely, to pass the tests! Holding you up in prayer! With Love, Rochelle


  10. Well, it sounds like you can have a sense of humor through it all…if it weren’t so serious a subject, I’d laugh at this post. 🙂 Praying for you, that this test comes out the way we hope. And that you feel His presence. Take care!


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