I am weary tonight, so this will be quick and possibly very raw. My biopsy was this morning, and basically the only thing to say is, “I’m glad it’s over.” The pain during the procedure is excruciating… there’s really only so much numbing they can do to protect from a four-inch needle in your neck. Twice. I almost passed out the first time. There is minimal swelling, some bruising, and a lot of pain tonight. So I am unable to sleep… even though that’s all I really want to do.
Add to that some complications from my appointment this afternoon with my oncologist and some problems with my port-a-cath. What should have been a 45-minute appointment turned into 3 hours, and I return tomorrow morning for them to work on my port some more.
Honestly, struggle seems like too simple of a word to describe how I am feeling tonight. I am emotionally and physically weary. And I just want to ask God why? Why the pain on top of the pain? Why does every aspect of this have to be so difficult?
So tonight I’m asking you to pray. I am admitting my weariness and struggle. And I’m asking you to help me see Him.