A Spring of Joy

That’s what I shout every time I am exiting my bedroom to go put dishes in the sink or head to the bathroom. Then my parents scurry away and maintain a safe distance from me in hopes that they won’t become irradiated. (It’s a Lost in Space reference for all you young readers out there.)

Yes. I am at my parents’ home. I was never admitted to the hospital, because they kept my dosage just under the federally regulated amount for hospital admission. My sweet hubby came down tonight to see me and get my laptop working. Then he sat in the doorway to my room and ate supper with me, and we joked about how this is what our life will be like when we are old. I should have turned on Wheel Of Fortune. Then he headed home so I could video chat with my littles, and we blew kisses and I tried not to cry.

When I was home on Tuesday night but unable to touch my children, it was agony. And I realized how each of my children are handling it. Bella has no understanding, just that she wants Mommy and Mommy can’t hold her. Bear followed me around the house at a 3 foot distance, saying, “I’ll just stay right here, Mommy, so you can see me all the time.” Before bed, he hugged me (a quick hug is allowed) and said, “Mommy, I’ll never, ever forget you.” Okay, break my heart to pieces. My buddy understands, and all he told me over and over was how much he was going to miss me, but at least he understands why, as evidenced by this conversation they had yesterday with Bri’s mom.

Bear: This is bad for Mommy.

Buddy: No, this is good for Mommy.

Bear: No, this is bad for Mommy.

Buddy: No, this is good for Mommy. It will make her better.

Bear: This is bad for Mommy.

Buddy: No, this is good for Mommy.

And so it continued until Bear finally said, “No, this is bad for Mommy for me.”

Sigh.

I keep grasping at perspective. There are soldiers overseas who don’t see their families for months, people hospitalized who can’t be visited by their children for weeks, parents who are divorced and share their children, and so many more. No, it doesn’t minimize what I’m going through, but it helps me get through it.

I am doing well.. some physical side effects and pain, but I am fairly comfortable, and it is good to be at Mom & Daddy’s rather than in some hospital somewhere. I am reading, praying, resting, watching TV… and soon I’ll be playing Scrabble online with Nat…not too stir crazy yet.

Over the next few days, I’ll be MIA for a bit other than some quotes and fun things I have in my queue all ready to be posted.

Please know how much I appreciate your prayers. God is ministering to me through you.