A Spring of Joy

Yesterday afternoon I sat in Brian’s office downtown and looked around at the pictures he has plastered everywhere of our family. Two black and white ones caught my eye. They are both of me. In the first I am holding our three-month-old Bella. My hair is long. I have no glasses. There are long lashes and thick eyebrows, and it is striking. When Bri photographed us, he captured the light perfectly, and it is a beautiful portrait of motherhood.

The second is a close up of me 4 months ago. It is the back of Bri’s head, and my face as we danced together at a wedding. My hair is just growing in. I am wearing glasses and they hide lashless eyes. There are thin eyebrows, and there is an almost desperate look on my face. It is striking, too, but in a much less beautiful way.

Bri saw me gazing at them, and he asked me what I was thinking. I smiled, a bit sadly, “They are so different, aren’t they?” I whispered. “It’s amazing. In such a short time, so much of me was destroyed.”

He smiled and we sat in silence, each submersed in our own thoughts. I sighed. “But even though so much of my outward body was destroyed, my spirit, my soul will never be destroyed.”

I looked again at those pictures, and I smiled. To a passerby, the second picture would capture nothing. For me, it captures everything. And I find it much more beautiful than the almost model perfect picture of a “healthy” me. The desperate love for my husband in my face is a reflection of the forever love God has given us. The short hair, no lashes, drawn on eyebrows… they are pictures of God’s faithfulness, of His protection, of the victory over death that I will ultimately have.

I sing Laura Story’s “Mighty To Save” from her Great God Who Saves cd at the top of my lungs every time I am in the car, and the kids now sing along with me. I get half way through it, and I stop and cry every single time.

“Take me as you find me, all my fears and failures, fill my life again.”

He’ll find a mess. But it’s a beautiful mess, because every fear and failure finds me running again to give my everything to the One I believe in… surrendering every scar and hurt and pain in my body to His will.

He has risen. He has conquered death. He is mighty to save. But even more amazing than sparing my body these past months, He has saved my soul. This body will one day be destroyed. But my spirit, my soul. It will sing forever and ever.

Happy Easter, y’all.

Glory, glory to the RISEN KING.

Everyone needs compassion,
Love that’s never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.

Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Saviour;
The Hope of nations.

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.
Yes, I surrender.

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We’re singing for the glory of the risen King…Jesus (x2)

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

You’re my Saviour, you can move the mountains,
You are mighty to save,
You are mighty to save.
Forever, Author of Salvation,
You rose and conquered the grave,
Yes you conquered the grave