A Spring of Joy

These days my children ask a lot of why’s. Mostly Bear, but they all do.

Why does the thunder come after lightning? Why do I have to obey? Why do kangaroos have four feet but only walk/jump on two? Why does Daddy have to go to work every day? Why does the dark scare me?

They seem trivial. Then I realize that deeper is a desire to understand the world around them. To learn about the God who created them and all things. To know that everything will be okay.

I ask a lot of why’s these days, too.

Why does the pain still continue when I know that God could snap His fingers and make it go away? Why the suffering of my friends and their babies?

Why is it harder to live now than when I was suffering through treatment? Why do these medicines that are supposed to be helping me cause such nasty depression?

Why, when I am so thankful to be alive, is it so hard to live?

These don’t seem trivial, but at their core are driven by the same needs as my children. The desire to understand the world around me. To learn about the God Who created me. To know that everything will be okay.

And so I go to Him… to worship. I read His Word. I weep through psalms that speak my language. I run to Gospel truths and thank Him that He came, that He suffered more than I could even imagine, and He did it for me. Because He loved me. Because He wanted to spend eternity with me. I cling to this love.

And I know that one day I will understand this road.

Until I do, I will still believe.

I believe in a love unimaginable.

Song: This Road
Artist: Ginny Owens
Album: Something More

A million miles away from anything familiar
A thousand places I would rather be
So I choke back the tears and try to find the bright side
Though I find it hard to see beyond my suffering
In my heart I know your plan is so much bigger
But this small part is all that I can see
And I believe you haven’t left me here to wander
Still I can’t help but ponder where you’re leading me

And I ask why this road
Why this way
And this load
Tell me how far must I go
Till I see
Till I know
Why this road

A million miles away from anything familiar
What was it like to be so far from home
Though you came in love
The world misunderstood you
There must have been some days when you felt so alone
But you endured, cause there was joy before you
Joy that came because you sacrificed
Since you gave yourself just to spend forever with me
Surely I can trust you’ll lead me through my darkest times
When I ask why….

And I ask why this road
Why this way
And this load
Tell me how far must I go
Till I see
Till I know
Why this road

From here I can not see
Why you’d choose this path for me
But I don’t have to understand to believe
That you know why
You know why this road
Why this way
And this load
You know how far I must go
Till I see
Till I know
Why this road