There are things about my B that drive me absolutely crazy. I get frustrated. Sometimes I get downright mad. And this morning we had an argument over the most inane thing. Because, well, I’m a woman and he’s a man and we think differently.

There are things that we laugh about now:
–the way he is obsessed with (brace yourselves ladies) putting the lid down every time the toilet is flushed (we made a deal when we got married that I would put the lid down if he would pull the shower curtain the whole way across after a shower rather than leave it open.)
–the way our towels are hung in the bathroom… no, it’s not about the neatness. It’s about remembering whose is whose. He decided mine is the one on the right, because, as he put it, “You’re always right.”

There are so many things…

But they are the quirks of marriage. Or the quirks of my husband. Or the quirks of me.

Or the sins of my husband. Or the sins of me.

But they don’t need to be aired. No one needs to know the bad things about my husband. He doesn’t sit around with his guy friends and say, “Let me tell you about my wife’s sins.” or “My wife made me so mad the other day.” So why do we women think that’s something we have a right to do?

I see it so often (and am guilty of it, too). Women who roll their eyes and complain about the things their husband does or doesn’t do. Women who use public podiums to make fun of their husband. Women who shake their heads and say, “Just like a man.”

Elisabeth Elliot writes about this in her book, Let Me Be A Woman (a book which I highly recommend):

Anything he does which seems to her inexplicable or indefensible she dismisses with “Just like a man!” as though this were a condemnation or at best an excuse instead of a very good reason for thanking God. It is a man she married, after all, and she is lucky if he acts like a man.

I’m not saying we can’t have a few close friends that we work through our struggles with. We need people we can go to and say, “Help me work through this.” But that’s it… a few. close. friends. And it should be in a way that honors our husband.

That’s my role.

To honor my B.

That’s why this blog won’t ever air the frustrations, the quirks, the sins, the fights.

And besides, the amazingness of my B far outweighs the quirks and sins that frustrate me.

He. is. awesome.


Never think she loves him wholly
Never believe her love is blind
All his faults are locked securely
In a closet of her mind;
All his indecisions folded
Like old flags that time has faded,
Limp and streaked with rain,
And his cautiousness like garments
Frayed and thin, with many a stain–
Let them be, oh let them be,
There is treasure to outweigh them,
His proud will that sharply stirred,
Climbs as surely as the tide.
Senses strained too taut to sleep,
Gentleness to beast and bird,
Humor flickering hushed and wide,
As the moon on moving water,
And a tenderness too deep
To be gathered in a word.

~Sarah Teasdale

6 responses to “Quirks”

  1. I respect your thoughts on this so much. Sure, we ALL have our annoyances, but that’s just it. Whenever I complain, I find myself with this gut feeling that I should probably take a good look at myself.

    Ryan brings so many things (as a MAN) that I NEED in my life. I’d rather focus on those things. Sometimes I totally forget to do that…but I sure try 🙂


  2. AMEN!

    PS. My brother and I came to an understanding about the toilet seat when we were growing up – if the lid went down after each use, we both had to at least lift and close something when we went to the bathroom – carried over nicely into marriage :).


  3. Thanking God those quirks don’t get in the way of God’s grace. The proverbs 31 woman protects the name of her husband and he is respected among the city and the elders (because of her words regarding him).

    12 She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.

    23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

    26 She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.


  4. I agree. I don’t think I’ve actually read anyone who really cut down their husband. I don’t think that would be easy to read. It would be rather uncomfortable…

    It’s like Heather up there said…when I complain about The Man, I need to take a good look in the mirror.

    And your Bri is right about the lid. 😉


  5. Great words, Angie. I love how Brian is the one who has to have the toilet seat closed. That’s certainly not “just like a man”! 😉

    I spent about 5 minutes earlier this morning thinking through this same subject….how many folks out there think that it is funny to demean their spouses. I want few things more in life than to see my husband shine, excel and grow. We are on the same team, after all!


  6. Thank you for writing this.


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