Is It Too Late To Home School?

My Bear.

The past few weeks have been hard on him. He’s become clingy and emotional, never wanting to leave my side, wanting me to be next to him in his bed until he falls asleep. Recently I’ve felt the unexpected slip of his little hand into mine, a rarity for him. He’s the funny one. The boy who wants to run and play and imagine. No time to cuddle, Mom, there’s pirate ships to build and castles to guard!

I have struggled over the past two years with how much time I lost with my children. And the hardest one for me is Bear. Bella was such a baby when I was diagnosed, and she didn’t know anything except for snuggles with Mommy. Ash was my conversationalist and he would pursue me, sitting on my bed to read with me and share his dreams. Bear had no concept of anything except that Mommy was sick and couldn’t enter into all the fun. I ache the most over lost time with him… of snowmen and forts and blanket tents and cowboys and superheroes… all the things he became that I couldn’t become with him.

And now, time is taking him away again. To Kindergarten. To a place I know he will thrive and grow. To a place I know he needs to go. To a place I want him to go. (I think.)

I am going to miss my Bear. That tightness won’t leave my throat, nor will the ache in my heart. And Monday, as I snuggled next to him at bedtime, he wrapped his arms around my neck and wept. “Mommy, I don’t ever want to leave you.” And I held him, soothing his rapid breaths while trying to control my own, all the while thinking…

“Is it too late to home school?”

How did this happen? When did he grow up?

When did this little 2 year old become 5? And how do I get time to stop? And if any of you mention college, I will never speak to you again.

How To Be A Tigger from b on Vimeo.

6 responses to “Is It Too Late To Home School?”

  1. It is SO hard to send those precious little ones to school – when you can’t be there for every moment of their day. I told my kids yesterday that when I left them at school, I wanted to turn into a little fly and be around them all day. They thought that was wierd 🙂 but it’s hard letting go!
    And I’m sure especially in your circumstances it is — it will feel so much better when you see his smiling face and hear all of the adventures Mrs. Storella takes them on as their teacher. She will love him well. 🙂
    Take care, Girl. Praying for you…


  2. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the video! Hanley and I watched it over and over this morning!


  3. Avatar

    My sweet one,

    The separation is so hard. I had this same thing with both of mine and even with my grandchildren. After you hear all the things that he has learned and wants to share with you, it will be exciting for him as he sits down with you in the evening and talks about his day.

    YOu are so sweeeet.

    In His love,


  4. He is the sweetest Tigger. I want a pause button too. Good luck with the first day – I’m sure you know about the Kissing Hand. I learned about it from Kristen @ NST.


  5. Ha! That could be a dangerous question, depending on who answers. ::insert wicked grin here::

    I hope both of you adjust and have a marvelous year. It is indeed hard to let go. I have homeschooled from the beginning, in the best of circumstances, and still have regrets over time lost (in my case, not due to sickness, but to my own foolishness in being too busy with other things that seemed important at the time). God is gracious to restore lost time. May He give you peace and joy!


  6. Speaking as a middle child–this is what we do!


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