Childlike Faith

It is the same each night that I go in to check on her. Tossing in her restlessness, she has turned herself upside-down, on top of quilted covers, feet dangling over the bed’s edge. I lift her in my arms and place her gently back on her pillow pulling her blankets around her.

It is such a simple, automatic gesture with which she responds. Never waking as I lift her, she pulls her arms around my back and hugs tightly, then sighs with contentment when I place her back where she belongs. It is a gesture so sweet, simple and beautiful. One of childish faith and love.

On the nights when Bri or I forget to go into Bella’s room, I hear the thump later, and I cringe. I hear the wails as I race down the hallway and smooth her curls whispering apologies. She is in pain. She has been awakened ruthlessly in her fall. She needs my comfort. In moments she is asleep again on her pillow, back in safety.

And I think about me. My restlessness. My carelessness. My falling asleep in life and dangling over the brink of sin, ready to fall.

How I long for the childish act of my daughter when my Father lifts me gently away from the edge. Instead I resist, pushing Him away and lifting my chin in defiance. I can do this on my own!

I turn away, making excuses, seeing how close to evil I can get… oh, this show is ok, it only has a “few” sexual innuendos in it and everyone else watches it… oh, I can be critical of this person, it won’t change the way I think about her in the long run… oh, I can place expectations on my husband, after all, that’s his role… oh, I can hold bitterness in my heart, I probably won’t really see that person much anyway… oh, I can ignore my work to be idle, after all, tomorrow is another day…

The beauty of relationship with Him is that He’ll never forget. In His grace, He is always there, wooing me back from the edge. Pulling me to safety. Comforting me when I fall. Putting me back on His right path.

And oh how happy I am when instead of resisting Him, I follow that path in love. No, I won’t watch this show no matter how many others do, and I will set a guard over my heart… no, I won’t be critical but remember how many failings I have… no, I won’t place unhealthy expectations on my Brian but remember his unconditional love for me… no, I won’t hold bitterness in my heart, but go back to forgiveness over and over and over… no, I won’t ignore my calling, but will work heartily as unto the Lord.

How I long for this gesture of obedience to be automatic.

Like my Bella’s arms circle me, I long for my life to wrap around Him.

And when He pulls me back to safety, I sigh contentedly, knowing I am where I belong.

Grace. Grace. It is all of grace.

7 responses to “Childlike Faith”

  1. This morning’s sermon was on Acts 18. The pastor asked the question, “are you ever discouraged, fearful, disheartened?” and then he pointed to Paul in Acts 18. Even he was fearful when he went into Corinth. He was discouraged by Jewish opposition. Then the pastor charged us to listen to Jesus’ response:

    9One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision: “Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent. 10For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city.

    And next time, when your mind begins that “fear spiral,” choose NOT to go down that road. Instead, remember Jesus’ words. Do not be afraid, keep on going, for I am with you.

    If only we could remember these words more often..


  2. You have a way of putting everything in the right perspective. 🙂 The one that got me was the idleness… I need to be a more “faithful servant”.

    Love the picture you painted of you and Bella.


  3. Beautiful post. It IS all of grace. I love the way you see things.


  4. Another beautiful post pointing us to Jesus! You are really an incredible writer!


  5. Avatar

    My dear Angie,

    What grace has been bestowed on you, in you and through you.

    To God be the glory!!!Love and blessings,


  6. Your words bring tears to my eyes. Tears of conviction, tears of repentance, tears of being held safe in His arms forevermore. Yes, I too long for my obedience to be automatic.


  7. I love this post. YOu are very gifted. I, too, wish I didn’t fall as often as I do, but am ever grateful for the Grace of God.

    Bless you!


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