November Gratitude: It is Right…

…to give Him thanks and praise.

Yesterday I drove through the still glorious autumn mountains to my 3-month follow-up with my endocrinologist (translate: thyroid doctor). I dropped off my Bella at Grandma’s house for the morning, still laughing over her comments through the drive… “Mommy, can I have your lip gloss? Because mine’s just lip BALM, and it’s really quite boring.” (Have I ever mentioned we’re doomed?) We chatted about how beautiful the sun on the trees is and we talked about how fun it was a Grandma’s.

Once I arrived at the hospital, I sat and read while waiting and journaled gems of quotes from one of my favorite authors, Madeleine L’Engle. The doctor checked my levels, heart, lungs, etc. We discussed future follow-up to come in February (another radioactive scan). It was all just normal follow-up, then she said, “Let me check your neck one last time,” and my heart skipped a beat.

She was quiet. I’ve learned not to like it when the doctor is quiet.

“We need to schedule an ultrasound of your neck. There’s a thickness on the left side (where my cancer was) that I want to check. With your high risk…”

I didn’t really hear anything else she said (there was something about another surgery and treatment if they find something), because the voices in my head took over.

Immediately, they screamed at me, “See? Just when you thought you were at the end of the road, something else slams you. Don’t you know this is how it always goes with you?”

We scheduled things, and I got to the car more numb than anything. I called my Bri and we talked about it. I got to Mom’s house, ate her delicious chicken salad and sat with her and Daddy (who came home half day that day) and we talked about it. I was okay as long as I was talking about it.

It’s when I think about it that the fear sets in.

The best way to describe my yesterday is resigned.

This is the way it goes.

Then on the way home, I heard the Sursum Corda (a 3rd century liturgy) as sung on the City on a Hill: Sing Alleluia cd. A blessing. A lifting up of hearts to God. A giving of thanks.

Sursum Corda

Priest: The Lord be with you.
People: And also with you.
Priest: Lift up your hearts.
People: We lift them [up] to the Lord.
Priest: Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.
People: It is right to give [him] thanks and praise.

My spirit calmed.

Yes, this is the way it goes.

But it doesn’t change the beauty of what still is.

The mountains were still glorious. My Bella-girl was curled asleep still in her car seat. My hubby was still loving me, calling on the phone to check and see how I was doing. My boys were still waiting with giddy anticipation for date night with Mom.

Life is still my gift to live, no matter where it takes me.

My ultrasound is November 30th. Will you please pray for no cancer and will you pray for my heart and the hearts of my loved ones as we wait?

And will you praise Him for the life He’s given us?

It is right to give Him thanks and praise.

12 responses to “November Gratitude: It is Right…”

  1. Oh, Angie. I will. I will. It is.

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  2. praying praying praying! Loving you and your family as well.

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  3. judieyoung@hotmail.com Avatar
    judieyoung@hotmail.com

    My precious Angie,

    Fear, this foreign invader comes to bring us down, but His love that casts out all fear has the power over this giant. May He direct your heart into the love of God and into the steadfastness of Christ. Thank God He did not give us a spirit of fear but of boldness and a sound mind.

    I was praying for you early this morning. What a throne of grace we have, our Savior is interceding and the blessed Holy Spirit is our silent prayer, praying with groans and utterances far deeper than words can go. Praise be to God!

    His grace is abounding to you,
    Love and blessings,
    Judie

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  4. You know I will pray. Always. Hugs to you, and your precious family.

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  5. I am praying for you, dear, dear, Angie. I love you.

    -Sarah

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  6. Be assured of our love and prayers for you!

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  7. I so appreciated your testimony to giving Him the thanks and praise even in this. What an encouragement that brought to my own heart and soul! Once again, as is not at all uncommon, you bless me!

    Continuing in prayer… just now again in double time. Nov. 30 marked on my calendar! Love you friend.

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  8. Praying for you and all who love you dear friend.

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  9. You are always in my prayers,but even better you are always in God’s loving healing hands. I pray a hedge of protection around you and your family,and pray for the Ultrasound to be clear. Love Janice

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  10. Oh, Angie…praying, praying and praying some more. Your honesty and faith and ability to look to Him even when everything inside you wants to fall apart is again such a picture of His grace to you and your love for Him. Your friends in the East are praying for an all-clear on the 30th. Peace be with you, friend. Isaiah 26:3 (P.S. Loving all these gratitude posts!)

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  11. We got back to St. Louis tonight and of course I wanted to check up on the blogs I read. I can’t describe what I felt when I read your post, and the language running through my head might offend your more sensitive readers. All that to say, I love you, am sorry that you must go through this waiting again, and I will be praying. I often pray that you will never have to go through cancer again, that you will have many cancer free, healthy, glorious years. I will keep praying. I am glad to know that whatever happens, God truly is good, it is right to praise him, and there is a time coming where there will be no more cancer and no more fear, only LIFE.

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  12. Praying Ang, Praying.

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