The Howl of Advent

“It is Advent right now, and this year especially, I’m really thankful for Advent. Advent is about waiting, anticipating, yearning. Advent is the question, the pleading, and Christmas is the answer to that question, the response to the howl. There are moments in this season when I don’t feel a lot like Christmas, but I do feel like Advent.” (~Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet)

Waiting.

I don’t like waiting.

Our culture has taught us that waiting is a bad thing, and we do everything we can to avoid it.

I keep being thrust into situations where I must wait, and these last two weeks have been agonizing at times. I’ve felt the howl of Advent. This waiting for answers to come just as those people in history waited (since the fall of mankind in the Garden of Eden) for Jesus, the answer to sin’s problem to come.

I long to wait well. I long and ache and pray that I would welcome waiting as an opportunity to worship. But so often I turn waiting into fear and an opportunity to take life into my own hands rather than opening them up and offering my life as a sacrifice.

I have no idea how long this wait will be. I have no inclination when the hospital will call my specialist and when she will call me with results. I just know I must wait and that answers sit on someone’s desk somewhere.

I. must. wait. And I am not the only one. I have two friends this week who also face tests, scans, possible biopsies.

My sweet friend, Kristin, recently pointed me to a sermon preached last week at her church in Nashville on waiting, and I sobbed through the whole 45 minutes.

My favorite quote?

“Rather than an inconvenience, waiting is to faith what breathing is to life.”

How I long for the faith that views God’s promises as a place to stand firm knowing that He is in control, that my waiting is part of the larger story and that larger story is one of redemption and salvation and hope and glory.

My God… the God Who waited thousands of years for the fullness of time to send His Son as part of His plan of redemption… He is the God Who holds every breath of my life in His hand. He is the God who fulfills every promise. He is the God Who has never failed me. He will not fail me now. He is the God Who sits on His throne as Almighty King, yet bends to me as Abba Father. He makes waiting worth it.

Henri Nouwen said, “It impresses me; therefore, that all the figures which appear on the first pages of Luke’s Gospel are waiting.”

How I long to wait like Zechariah and Elizabeth, like Simeon and Anna, like Joseph and Mary.

In my Advent crying, I feel the longing.

As I struggle with the longing, I wait.

And in my waiting, I will worship.

“Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because he has come to his people and redeemed them.” (Luke 1:68)

2 responses to “The Howl of Advent”

  1. judieyoung@hotmail.com Avatar
    judieyoung@hotmail.com

    My precious Angie,

    My heart goes out to you. I just recently had to wait for a report and I know those moments. Our life is in His hands. What an incredible place to be. May we learn together to walk in Him even more and have the attitude of Christ who did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped but became obedient to death even death on the cross.

    I love you deeply,
    Judie
    xoxox

    Like

  2. Angie,
    This is a beautiful reflection – your ability to see light in your darkness is truly a gift. I am so glad you share it with us.

    Like

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