I Blinked

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain.

–Rob Thomas, “These Small Hours”

Last night as I tucked him in bed, he hugged me long and hard. “Mom, having you here is what makes my birthday the best day ever.” I whispered my love for him thickly–this boy, this beautiful boy with a heart of gold.

He has walked through fire these past years, and I look at him and see how much he has grown. He is taller and stronger, lanky and lean. His huge brown eyes have lashes that will one day make girls turn heads. (Let me pause to scream, “I’m not ready for that!”) But even more beautiful than those eyes, is what lies behind them–a boy who loves life and loves God and loves to learn and loves to laugh and play and lives with an intensity that drains me in a beautiful way.

These small hours. I often find myself watching him when he doesn’t know I’m doing it. This boy, my oldest, who made me a mother 9 years ago. And I am in awe. Awe that I have been given this gift. Awe that God would actually entrust me–ME?–with his life and training and loving and living. Awe that he still loves me so much when I have failed him so often. Awe that he is so full, so very full of love and life and passion. Awe that time can pass so quickly.

I blinked.

And he is halfway to manhood.

These small hours.

I hold them in my heart.

And I am living with my eyes open, because if I blink he might be eighteen tomorrow.

Happy birthday, dear Ash. You bring more joy to my life that I could ever have imagined possible.

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8 responses to “I Blinked”

  1. Happy Birthday, Asher!

    Like

  2. Grandma and Grandad Avatar
    Grandma and Grandad

    What a wonderful tribute to a very dear boy!
    Happy Birthday, Asher! We love you so much!

    Like

  3. So beautiful. I know how you feel. Happy Birthday to your boy! (They’ll always be boys in our eyes).

    Like

  4. Happy Birthday Asher! You are a blessed boy with a very special momma.

    Like

  5. judieyoung@hotmail.com Avatar
    judieyoung@hotmail.com

    Happy Birthday Asher!!!! You are so handsome, but how could you not be with such lovely parents.

    God bless you,
    Ms. Young

    Like

  6. AHHH! ANGIE! Halfway to manhood. I never thought about that before. Trippy! He really is growing up so fast…but since he is turning out so delightful, I don’t think we can ask him to stop!

    Like

  7. Happy birthday to your nine year old boy, Asher. He does have a beautiful heart, doesn’t he?

    This was really beautiful, Angie.

    Like

  8. I am obviously behind in my blog reading. *sigh*

    Happy Belated Birthday Asher!!

    Trusting the day of celebrating was wonderful, and that even today there is continued celebration in the family for each of you!

    Also praying that all are well once again!

    Like

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