What Feels Impossible

9 That same night the Lord said to him, “Arise, go down against the camp, for I have given it into your hand. 10 But if you are afraid to go down, go down to the camp with Purah your servant. 11 And you shall hear what they say, and afterward your hands shall be strengthened to go down against the camp.” Then he went down with Purah his servant to the outposts of the armed men who were in the camp. 12 And the Midianites and the Amalekites and all the people of the East lay along the valley like locusts in abundance, and their camels were without number, as the sand that is on the seashore in abundance. 13 When Gideon came, behold, a man was telling a dream to his comrade. And he said, “Behold, I dreamed a dream, and behold, a cake of barley bread tumbled into the camp of Midian and came to the tent and struck it so that it fell and turned it upside down, so that the tent lay flat.” 14 And his comrade answered, “This is no other than the sword of Gideon the son of Joash, a man of Israel; God has given into his hand Midian and all the camp.”

15 As soon as Gideon heard the telling of the dream and its interpretation, he worshiped. (Judges 7:9-15

This morning over breakfast I read about Gideon to my children. “Do you see?” I asked them, “Do you see what God does for Gideon? He knows his fears and he doesn’t tell him to stop being afraid.”

With only an army of 300 men, God told Gideon to go down against the Midianites. Then he said, “But if you are afraid to go down, go down to the camp with Purah your servant. And you shall hear what they say, and afterward your hands shall be strengthened to go down against the camp.” Gideon went down with Purah because he was afraid. He went down and heard two Midianites talking about a dream and how it meant that God was going to give Midian into Gideon’s hand.

“Do you see? Do you see the mercy and kindness of God? He didn’t lambast Gideon for his fear. He walks with Gideon in his fear and gives him the comfort he needs.”

Grins and nods told me they got it, and when we listed our praises for Who God is, voices chorused, “He’s kind. He’s good. He’s true.”

Later that morning I wrote on their napkins for their lunch boxes, “If you face what feels impossible today, remember Gideon and be encouraged. God is with you. I love you.”

Oh, friends. It feels like I face the impossible today. Many of you have seen my Facebook status update. The PET scan is back and my neck is clear; however, some nodes in my chest showed something.

I don’t know what that something is. I am waiting (again) on my oncologist to return my call to see what it is and where we go from here. It could be nothing. It could be huge.

I was at work when I heard the news (side note: there is nothing like working with friends who will stop and pray with you when the battles rage). We prayed together and I told them about Gideon and I laughed through my tears, “It’s a whole lot easier to tell that to someone else than to believe it for myself.”

Sometimes the belief feels impossible, too.

But I praise Him as my children did this morning… He is true. He is with us.

Even when it feels overwhelming. I already have surgery planned for Thursday on an abdominal hernia. Now that may all change, too. It’s out. of. my. control. And I don’t like that.

It feels impossible.

I love how Gideon’s encounter down at the camp ends.

He bowed low in worship. (Then he went with his men and won a mighty battle…)

This is where it MUST go. If I do not bow low in worship, I will sit in my fear and shrink under the weight of the impossible, and I will be unable to do battle against the lies of the enemy.

He is kind. He is merciful. He is true. He is with us.

I believe. Lord, help my unbelief!

(Thank you for praying.

2 responses to “What Feels Impossible”

  1. Feeling the weight of your words heavy in my heart. I am praying and bowing down in worship with you dear friend. Love and hugs from across the hills.


  2. My precious one,

    The forming of Christ is in, the pain of an unknown path is so hard, but He promises that He will never leave us or forsake us. May this truth fill you with hope, hope that anchors you to the one who has called and set you apart to Himself. May His grace, mercy and peace abound to you in fullest measure. I am standing with you my dear one.

    Love and blessings,


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