A Spring of Joy

Every now and then I think how I should update y’all on where we are with treatment, and often I hesitate because it’s the same old thing. Go to chemo, feel miserable for a few days, feel okay for a few days, go to chemo again. Wash. Rinse. Repeat cycle ad nauseam (pun intended).

So this morning I went as normal to my chemo and wound up leaving half an hour later sans chemo.

I had my tumor markers checked last week. It’s a blood test to see how well the chemo is working and about two months ago we celebrated that those markers had dropped by one-third.

Today was not a celebratory day.

Sadly, my friends, my markers are rising and while not the same as when I began, the rise is significant enough to warrant a PET scan to see what they can see and to determine if there are any new metastases.

Huge. Deep. Shuddering. Breaths.

She chose to let me avoid chemo this week so I would at least feel pretty well (why kick a man when he’s down?… I do love my oncologist!) and they are going to schedule the PET for later this week or early next. Then I will see my doctor to determine where we go from here.

She said every chemo has a shelf life. I had so hoped the shelf life on mine would be a lot longer. I don’t know many details other than this. I assume we will try a new chemo once we know something more certain.

I do know this.

We are scared. This waiting is agonizing. This wondering is terrifying.

I do know this.

It is not hopeless. As my daddy told me today, “It’s never hopeless.”

I do know this.

Our God is always with us and He’ll never forsake us.

I do know this.

Everything matters. My father-in-law even surprised me with a Five Guys burger today–comfort food for a bad day.

I do know this.

We are loved. The support we have is overwhelming.

As we know more, I’ll update (and hopefully I’ll write more in between… I’ve been in a bit of a writing funk lately).

I do know this.

Your prayers and love are a balm to our weary, weary souls.

(In a not-so-hilarious-but-head-shaking-“seriously?” turn of events, I’ve also been summonsed for jury duty. While I consider my civic duty very important, would you pray I can get an exclusion ahead of time?)