A Spring of Joy

It’s been a while since I’ve updated y’all, and several of y’all have you asked how I’m doing, so here’s my attempt at an update.

It’s funny, there’s a lot that I could say, but I get to where I’m just not sure how much to say or even what to say. Every now and then I have a busy day, but that’s rare for me. I keep my life simple so I’m able to hopefully do the things I love and long to do. Our Bella Girl has study hall and work release in the mornings, so she’s able to be home when she’s not working before school and I have so enjoyed having mornings with her. Sometimes we sit and read together, sometimes we watch a show together, sometimes we just putter and do our own things, but it just is a comfort to have her here especially her senior year her.

Senior year?!?!? I can’t believe my baby is six weeks away from graduation. Look how far we’ve come! Such an ebenezer for us to raise. Thus far the Lord has helped us—in so many places and so many areas. We are overwhelmed by our Father’s love and care, and overwhelmed by your love and support. Thank you.

So now for the medical portion of life. A couple months ago they found three areas on my bladder that had to be biopsied. This was so they could determine if these spots were breast cancer spread, or if we were facing a brand new bladder cancer. Praise God this was just breast cancer spread. It feels funny to say “just” breast cancer spread, but if this was bladder cancer, it would’ve been a whole new addition to treatment and care. So. We are thankful that this is just breast cancer and can be incorporated into our current treatment. The biopsy itself was a difficult recovery for me because my body was already weak, but I’m fully recovered from that and have continued on with the current course of treatment with one small break because I contracted this viral crud going around and it took at long time for my body to be able to beat it.

I’ve had several cycles now of this new chemo. We’ve watched my tumor markers drop—in some cases drop in drastic ways—which is very encouraging. I’ve had an echocardiogram to make sure my heart can manage the chemo. My ejection fractions, which is what they’re watching, are low but not low enough to keep me from treatment. A specific prayer request would be that my heart would stay healthy so I can stay on this course of treatment, because this course of treatment is working y’all!

I had a CT scan about a month ago. When I met with my oncologist for results, she was literally bouncing because she was so happy. So she bounced and I cried. Here’s the lineup of the things the CT scan showed:

—the spots on my bladder are no longer measurable;

—the tumors in the lining of my left lung have stayed stable, there is no change in size;

—the tumor in my liver has dropped from 1.3 cm to 1 cm;

—so, y’all know I’ve had fluid in my lung for three years and they’ve not been able to eliminate it or even reduce it. Y’all! It reduced in amount! This is huge. I can feel a change in my breathing and am just so encouraged by that;

—and then to top it all off, my last tumor marker reading the markers had dropped another 40 points, and I’m getting close to the normal range with markers.

I’m crying as I type this. It feels so long since I’ve been able to give good news. At the same time, if I’m honest, I still struggle with the mental and spiritual fighting my pessimism as I wait for the next shoe to drop rather than revel in the good things that God is doing with this new chemo.

Would you pray, my friends, or rather would you continue to pray, because you have been such faithful prayer warriors for me already? Would you pray that this chemo continues to work? Would you pray for my heart to just rest and trust in God’s timing? Would you pray for physical strength to continue as I struggle with this chemo? It is brutal. I will write another post explaining what it is like, but I just wanted to write and encourage you as you encourage me that this is doing its job. We are encouraged. I want to bounce and clap my hands and say I’m so happy just like my oncologist on Thursday. She is hopeful this will be a long-term solution to keeping my cancer stable.

It is still a battle. That won’t change, but knowing it’s working it makes the battle easier to fight. Thank you, friends. It seems I so small to say, but we appreciate your prayers and your love for us so much. Most of all we appreciate the love of our father, which doesn’t change whether the report is good, whether the shoe drops or not, he does not change, and so we breathe the beautiful fragrance of grace and we rest.

“We miss the lesson when we pick at the thorn.. nurse it… bemoan it…curse it. The enemy would have us so blinded by the pain of the thorn that we can’t see the beauty of the rose garden. I’ve been there so many times…so consumed by the discomfort that won’t go away that I can’t experience what fragrance of grace lies just ahead. Look past the thorn to how Christ is enough in the midst of it. His grace is sufficient for the thorn He chooses not to remove.” (~Ruth Chou Simons)