MIA

So I’ll be MIA for a while, but I will have Bri update here as we know more, unless of course the SNOW hits and I have to reschedule everything. Oh, and my mom is coming down with the flu (please pray for her.) Sigh. I am reminding myself God is in the details.

Today is my long day at the big hospital, and I’m overwhelmed and fearful and don’t even want to think about those vampires with their calming grins and foot-long needles as they start walking toward my veins. I have a radioactive scan AND an MRI today. Because of the radioactivity, Bri has to sleep on the couch tonight, and I won’t be able to touch the kids. Tomorrow I will be able to hug them good-bye before I leave on Wednesday for a week or so. Would you like to know how I feel? I HATE this. I ache inside with an incredible ache that wants to burst through, and I want to scream and kick and pitch a hissy fit.

There. That’s all I have to say about this.

The wheels in my mind keep turning over the upcoming events of today, and the one that plays over and over is seeing a doctor come in with my MRI report and tell me they can’t do this treatment, because they’ve found something else… a spot on a lung, a mass in my abdomen. I am terrified of hearing the word “cancer” again. I’ve heard it too many times.

My friend, Stat, reminded me of two promises last night. That a day is coming where there will be no more tears or crying or suffering, only immeasurable joy in His presence. And until that day, my Savior lives and loves and is always there for me.

Amen.

Thank you, again, for all your prayers and encouragement. Everytime I get a comment telling me how someone is praying, I sit and cry because it is overwhelming to see how this bloggy community works, and to be loved so well by the body of Christ, many of whom don’t even know me. I am humbled.

16 responses to “MIA”

  1. Dearest Angie,
    It is 3:04 AM Pacific Northwest time…way out here on the other side of the country and I can’t sleep~consequently I’m priviledged to read your post. You are AMAZING GIRL! I wish I could stand by you today, and hold your hand today… I weep for you, I shed real tears for you…God, God, God Almighty,,hang on to Angie through this journey~ and to her Bri and precious childen as well. Oh my goodenss…hold her close. AND, heal her~take this NAStY CANCER AWAY! Loving you Ang, Jan

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  2. You were my first thought and prayer today. I love you so much.

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  3. and yes, we are praying!
    love to you,
    susan

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  4. Thinking of you and praying.

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  5. Just wanted to let you know that you are loved & prayed for every day by us!

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  6. Thank You, Father, for Angie. Thank You for how You have, and still are redeeming this ugly cancer in her body for Your glory. I hate the pain for her, for Brian, for their parents, for their kids, for their friends, but I am so thankful that You are over all and in all, that You are God. I pray for Angie, now, as she is in the hospital having the tests done. I pray for Your peace in her heart. I pray that the tests will all come back clean, and I ask that you give her a special time with her family tomorrow and Wed morning. I pray also for healing for her mom. Please be there Holy Spirit. Please be there. Thank You that You promised that You will never leave us. Thank You for giving us Jesus. It is in His name I pray now. Amen.

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  7. More prayers. All that doubt and fear you’re feeling makes you normal, not lacking in faith, not weak. Just human. Sometimes we just need to call on each other, asking to borrow one another’s faith for awhile. Because life can just be so exhausting and terribly hard. Peace to you today,
    Heather

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  8. I woke up this morning and the first person I thought about was YOU! My prayers are forever with you especially during this next week or so. I’m praying for Buddy, Bear, and Bella, and Bri…….Love you so very much!! I wish I was able to see you yesterday at church and give you a big hug, but for now, here’s a cyber hug ((HUGS))) xoxo

    love always,
    becky

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  9. Angie,

    I have tears in my eyes for you as I type this. I just read your last three posts (Isolation, Isn’t It Wonderful, and this one). As I read I was holding Jackson, intending on putting him in the swing as he’s once again asleep, and getting some work done. Instead, I think I’ll sit here and hold him a while longer, while praying for you, your upcoming tests and treatment, and the time away from your dear family. I know these next two weeks will be such heartache for you, but I pray that God’s strength and grace will carry you, and them, through this time. You are such a strong, amazing woman of grace. I will be checking here often to keep up to date on how we can be praying, and lifting you up to our Father often as well.

    ~Cristen

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  10. Am praying for you dear sweet friend.

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  11. I so appreciate your honesty. And reminder that in the midst of everything: Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. We’ll be praying for you and your family.

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  12. Praying every day friend. Every. Single. Day.

    Take good care.

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  13. storming the heavens on your behalf. May God grant you the peace (and healing) you need! Cling to those promises, girl. He’ll never let you down.

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  14. Angie,

    I have been reading your posts for a while now and am always so very touched by what you have to say as if God’s Spirit is speaking directly through you to my heart. Thank you for being willing to share your brokenness. God is using you to teach me so much.

    My heart is heavy for you and yours this week. I am praying for you, sister.

    Love in Him,
    Janelle

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  15. Angie,

    I am encouraged by God’s work in your life.

    I gave your blog link to my friend at work who has been struggling with cancer as well. I am sure she will be blessed as many others have. You are in my prayers.

    JLOOK

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  16. Just letting you know that I have been praying for you this week.

    God bless.

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