A Spring of Joy

So I’ll be MIA for a while, but I will have Bri update here as we know more, unless of course the SNOW hits and I have to reschedule everything. Oh, and my mom is coming down with the flu (please pray for her.) Sigh. I am reminding myself God is in the details.

Today is my long day at the big hospital, and I’m overwhelmed and fearful and don’t even want to think about those vampires with their calming grins and foot-long needles as they start walking toward my veins. I have a radioactive scan AND an MRI today. Because of the radioactivity, Bri has to sleep on the couch tonight, and I won’t be able to touch the kids. Tomorrow I will be able to hug them good-bye before I leave on Wednesday for a week or so. Would you like to know how I feel? I HATE this. I ache inside with an incredible ache that wants to burst through, and I want to scream and kick and pitch a hissy fit.

There. That’s all I have to say about this.

The wheels in my mind keep turning over the upcoming events of today, and the one that plays over and over is seeing a doctor come in with my MRI report and tell me they can’t do this treatment, because they’ve found something else… a spot on a lung, a mass in my abdomen. I am terrified of hearing the word “cancer” again. I’ve heard it too many times.

My friend, Stat, reminded me of two promises last night. That a day is coming where there will be no more tears or crying or suffering, only immeasurable joy in His presence. And until that day, my Savior lives and loves and is always there for me.

Amen.

Thank you, again, for all your prayers and encouragement. Everytime I get a comment telling me how someone is praying, I sit and cry because it is overwhelming to see how this bloggy community works, and to be loved so well by the body of Christ, many of whom don’t even know me. I am humbled.